‘They’ say the bottom of the bottle is always dry, but don’t ‘they’ also say: it’s not about the end but about the journey.
My emotions run dry as I reach the bottom.
So come here! Come join me on MY journey of self-destruction! I promise to keep you entertained all the way down to the last drop of delicious details of my downtrodden life. Watch me swim like a dolphin in a bottle, to the bottom of the sea only to crash and splatter all over the glass.
I know where I am going, swimming to the deepest and lowest part of the self slowly tearing apart the rest throughout my self-destructive thoughts and attitude.
Life to me has always felt like being subjected to something. When I was born, I was subjected to life. My parents gave me life but by soon so also offered me the sweetest gift of death. I would have never known this gift were it not for the life they gave me. What a selfish thing to do! Give life! You killed me mom, you killed me dad. And now as a grown man I sit on stool at a bar as the stool grows roots and sucks away my will.
You call me an embarrassment. Ha! It is you who is the embarrassment, so distraught with the idea that this ‘thing’ was contrived from the mixing of your DNAs. I craved attention and love but got nothing but things. I do not want things. Things may be worth something to my image by things are worthless to the soul and my soul is the poorest there is. Dragging itself from one day to another only by the assistance of alcohol. All holding by a thread. Take that a way and all link disappears.
Enjoy the spectacle, enjoy seeing this absurd man rowing a boat in brandy up a mountain and wanting to touch the sky. Absurd it may be but to me it means something. It means not giving up. Not letting life win. It’s my beautiful vengeance. Giving a spectacle for all to admire. Bearing my all, bare naked soul out in the open and vulnerable. Not plagued by the same disease as the fakers and bluffers I cross everyday.
The other day I went up to a crossroad trying to sell my soul for what it may be worth. I wanted the bliss of ignorance in exchange. However as I presented my soul he laughed at me pitifully knowing full well he would see me seen anyway.
Numbing and drowning the screams of my consciousness is the best solution now. Liquor is my love. Liquor is my self. An Intoxicated mess.
A dolphin in a bottle swimming downstream to the bottom of the sweet sweet liquor. Lost in a daze, veils of sorrow grief and pain. Waiting for the end to come at the twilight of my high.
Author’s website:
Nice…
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Thank you for the feedback!
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This was so raw. Thanks for sharing!
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I love the metaphors – the crossroads demon, rowing up the brandy stream, the dolphin in the bottle – they are all both absurd and make total sense and I love it! Xx
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Thank you for the feedback 🙂 yes I tried to make it that way. I am glad you felt it.
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Haha thank you, yes I tried to be a little original with my metaphors 🙂
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There is so much angst that you let out in this writing. I liked it!
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Every river dolphin
must one day
swim free of the estuary
… and find the sea
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Thank you for your poetic comment… the sea itself may be just another prison keeping you away from the land just as the land is a prison keeping you away from the sea 🌊.
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I’m merely amphibious.
Scambling to walk dry land,
being very curious.
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Liminality might mean no identity
No identity may mean longing to cling
To something. Hang in the twilight zone for too long and you may lose yourself.
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The twilight zone is my post/zip code of the road.
But all my mail gets
returned to sender !
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So who can reach the letterbox of the twilight besides fellow twilightees? Perhaps those that are in a transitioning period, the refugees
Of the sea or of the land. Where land meets water by the coastline you help them pass over to the other side.
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Sometimes on dry land
Sometimes in trouble deep.
where children play with sin
… and mothers weep.
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If you assemble your answers you might come up with a nice poem.
Quite the poetic answer again 🙂
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Thank you.
Perhaps we are destined
to live within
a poem of liminality ?
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Thank you ! I am glad you liked it
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That may be but in the nothing is where everything is possible. Liminality may be the best mindscape for creativity.
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Yes, best not to settle
Stay fluid …
and keep on seeking
and creating.
Imago Dei.
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That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. The metaphor of “this absurd man rowing a boat in brandy up a mountain and wanting to touch the sky” … comical, sad, beautiful. Never stop writing!!
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Thank you very much for your invigorating comment! 🙂
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